Miracle
by Marina Black1
Summary: The first holiday without the love of one's life...how can anything ever be the same?


**A/N: I hope you enjoy this story about the miracle of the holiday season! I believe this character needed some heritage to live by.**

**If you would like to see the banner I made, go here: (www isNOT needed)i3. leave a review, good or bad! Thanks!**

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__Dong_. The grandfather clock in the hall struck one, now commanding that all students should be in bed. Curfew had been established early on in her educational career but she had long since gotten past that horrible teenage age. That didn't make it any easier for her… 

Swaying slightly against the weight of the sturdy leather suitcase, she placed it down on the edge of her bed. Sitting down, she closed her eyes. Pressing her hands down on the suitcase, she allowed the feeling to swell around her. "_Barukh atah Adonai, Eloheinu, melekh ha'olam shehecheyanu v'kiyimanu v'higi'anu laz'man hazeh. Amein._" Her voice was sweet and hit the notes of the Shehecheyanu with ease.

Checking to make sure she was alone, she opened the suitcase. The shimmering of polished copper caught the pale moonlight, creating a metallic aura around the sacred object. It was so beautiful, she yearned to take it out…but she was unclean, and she knew it.

Beside the bed was a porcelain bowl that would help cleanse her. The water shimmered as she cupped her hands over the bowl. Ladling the water over her face and hands, she sang the blessing quietly. "_Barukh atah Adonai, Eloheinu, melekh ha'olam she'asah nisim la'avoteinu bayamim haheim baziman hazeh. Amein._"

Reaching down, she picked up the copper candelabra with its nine elaborate holsters and placed it on the windowsill. Each was decorated with symbols, strange yet comforting to her. Being this close to it shook something vital in her.

Reaching down into the suitcase, she pulled out two candles. One would find itself in the center…the _shammosh. Holding the pale wax candle to her chest, she took a deep breath. "__Barukh atah Adonai, Eloheinu, melekh ha'olam asher kidishanu b'mitz'votav v'tzivanu l'had'lik neir shel Chanukah. Amein._" The final blessing.

Her fingers trembled as she placed a candle at the very right of the candelabra. Lighting the shammosh, she let the flame grow. With care, she brought the shammosh and the unlit candle together, igniting a spark…

The candle was lit and the ritual was complete.

Pressing her hands to her face, she knelt in front of the menorah. She was alone.

December twenty-fifth…all the other kids were having Christmas dinner with their parents or gossiping in the rec room about what their family had sent them for gifts. They had something…she had a dark room and a menorah.

The flames flickered, silent and steady…just like the Maccabees' had for eight days and eight nights. Her flame, however, would burn only for a single hour; she needed to treasure it, to relish in the time she had.

Inhaling deeply, she allowed the pain to settle in her throat. He was dead. Never again would he stand at her side while she lit each candle…he was dead and she was alone.

"Mommy?" A tiny voice called out in the darkness.

No, she wasn't alone.

She stood up, gathering the small child into her arms. "What are you doing out of bed?" She whispered…but the child did not respond verbally, merely nuzzled into her mother's neck. Closing her eyes, she let the tears run down her face.

Even though it hurt, even though her voice shook…she had to say it. There had to be happiness, even in these dark times. "Happy Hanukkah Lilly…"

Lilly was her beacon of hope, the one link that kept Katherine Rasputin on the earth.

"Happy Hanukkah, mommy." The girl answered, her voice laden heavily with sleep. It was well past her bedtime especially on a night when she had been celebrating so much…

Piotr had been an atheist and had no problem with Kitty imparting her religion on young Lillith. He had even joined in the celebration after she had found out she was pregnant with his child…it had been just the two of them.

He had pressed his hands onto her shoulders as she sang the age-old blessings and lit the candles. They hadn't been forced into the dark like Kitty was now…they were able to sit in the radiance of all the blessed light that the tarnished old menorah had given her…

And then, after a long time…he got her a new one. A beautiful copper candelabrum with engravings of love, peace, joy and family engraved in the metal. It had been the most precious gift she had ever received. Until Lilly.

Lilly was a miracle beyond any material good that Piotr could have given her. Kitty almost shuddered to think that her beautiful daughter could have ended up as Pete Wisdom's child...that maybe she would never have gotten that time with Piotr.

Turning back to the menorah, she cradled Lilly close to her body. "_Maoz tzur yeshua-si Lecha na-eh li-sha-beyach Tikone bais ti-fee-lasi Vi-sham todah ni-za-beyach.Li-ase ta-chin mat-beyach Mee-tzar ham-na-beyach Az eg-more vi-sheer meez-mor Chanukas ha-meez-beyach Az eg-more vi-sheer meez-mor Chanukas ha-meez-beyach._"

"Mommy?" She asked, her eyes the same steely blue that her father's had been. "What does that mean?" Looking up, she caught the sadness in her mother's eyes.

"O Rock of my salvation, with delight we praise You. Restore the Temple where we will bring offerings. When You will eliminate our enemies, then I shall sing at the rededication." Kitty said softly. "It's a little song praying to God."

The flame danced in Lilly's eyes as she stared at it. "Is daddy with God?" She asked innocently.

Kitty held Lilly closer as she took a seat on the bed. Closing her eyes for a brief moment, she expelled a heavy sigh. "Daddy is happy…wherever he is." She whispered into her daughter's dark chestnut hair. "It's going to be okay."

Lilly nodded, too tired to talk anymore this night. With a little yawn, she snuggled against Kitty, holding on tightly.

The small girl was asleep within minutes. Four years ago, Kitty had given birth to this beautiful little girl, a perfect mix between her and Piotr. She had vowed then never to let anything hurt her perfect little girl…

How could she keep that promise now?

It had begun to snow outside; light flakes danced down beyond the window panes, making everything pure again. Kitty shut her eyes tightly as she cradled Lilly to her. "Thank you Piotr…thank you."

In the deep recesses of her mind, she could almost hear his deep voice. _'I love you Katya…'_

Out of the corner of her eye she saw it…the candles had burned themselves to the wick. She let the last bit of light flicker swaggeringly.

Closing her eyes, she let the last of her tears fall. "I love you too Piotr." She whispered as the clock chimed again…

Hugging her daughter close, Kitty Rasputin allowed her eyes to close. "Happy Hanukah Piotr…" she murmured, letting her exhaustion overtake her.

It was another day. Another day without Piotr.

But somehow, it felt different; maybe, just maybe, things would look brighter tomorrow. She and Lilly would make it through the first Hanukah without Piotr…they would make it through Lilly's birthday…they would make it.

Sleep overtook her as the flame dissolved into nothing. Hazy grey smoke rose from the candles and twirled its way toward the falling snow.

Maybe it would be a Happy Hanukah after all…


End file.
